Experts estimate that 25% of the world’s remaining fossil fuel reserves lie under the Arctic seabed.

Melting of Arctic ice has allowed access to parts of the Arctic Ocean and seabed that have been blocked for centuries. As a result, several countries are trying to lay claim to parts of the Arctic in the hope of getting some of the oil and gas.

The leading claimants are, of course, the current inhabitants of the area. Spokesman for the group, Mr Santa Claus, confirmed his interest in the area’s resources but denied rumours that he would be changing his name to “Saudi Claus”.

The shrinking area of ice has led to several of his workers seeking asylum elsewhere. These “bergpeople” are having to compete with polar bears for space on small icebergs drifting towards processing centres in the south. Unfortunately, the centres have limited space and several bergpeople have been turned away in favour of much cuter polar bears cubs.

Mr Claus said that the loss of workers would not be a problem as manufacturing operations have been outsourced to Asia.

Oil and gas revenues will be used would ensure continued supply of product rather than for fuel, as Mr Claus already has exclusive rights to the unique transportation technology described in our previous article at

North Pole Elves
North Pole Elves